DUMMES_KIND
fighting the fog

Seit einiger Zeit schon habe ich es vermieden, irgendetwas -und sei es auch noch so banal- niederzuschreiben und mir damit greifbar zu machen. Im Endeffekt hat es nicht geholfen, da mein Kopf nur zunehmend überlastete. All diese Gedanken wurden zu einem großen Ganzen und verklebten mir den Kopf. Wäre mein Leben ein Comicheft, hätte ich versuchen können, diese Last durch ein lautes "blobb" aus meinem Hirn zu ziehen. Ist es aber leider nicht. Und wenn das Melancholie sein soll, dann weiß ich mir auch nicht mehr zu helfen.

Es ist um viele Tonhöhen zu laut, um es zu realisieren, aber auch zu leise, um es verarbeiten zu können. Meine Träume kehren in regelmäßigen Abständen wieder und lassen mich schweißgebadet und orientierungslos in meinem Bett aufwachen. Ich will diese Welten einfach nur aufzeichnen können, so wie ich sie sehe und allein empfinden kann. Dieses Gänsehautgefühl ist unbeschreiblich intensiv. Haha, wenn ich einigermaßen gut in der Konstruktion sonderbarer Maschinen wäre, würde ich einen Kopf-Gedanken- Papier- Konverter bauen. In welcher, unappetitlicher Funktionsweise dieser dann laufen würde, lasse ich lieber außerhalb meiner Betrachtung. Vielleicht habe ich momentan auch einfach nur zuviel Freizeit und bin mit mir und meinen abstrusen Gedanken allein? Wäre auch alles noch gut zu ertragen, wenn ich in der Lage wäre, diese ständig aufbordende Sehnsucht zu kontrollieren und in Schach zu halten. Ich kann das langsam nicht mehr aushalten...

Und es ist doch nur das Geräusch von Nichts, das mich ängstig,
das mich bändigt und mich nicht schlafen lässt.
12.6.08 18:54


4.5.08 10:38


19.1.08 22:22




1. Smoked. []
2. Consumed alcohol. [x]
3. Slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex. [x]
4. Slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex. [x]
5. Kissed someone of the same sex. [x]
6. Had sex (and lost count) [ ]
7. Had someone in your room other than family (and friends) [ x]
8. Watched porn. [x]
9. Bought porn. [ ]
10. Done drugs. []
TOTAL SO FAR: 6/10

1. Taken painkillers. [x]
2. Taken someone else's prescription medicine. [ ]
3. Lied to your parents. [x]
4. Lied to a friend. [x]
5. Been to rehab. [ ]
6. Done something illegal. [x]
7. Cut yourself. []
8. Hurt someone. [x]
9. Been to a club. [x]
10. Seen someone die. [ ]
TOTAL SO FAR: 12/20

1. Missed curfew. []
2. Stayed out all night.[x]
3. Eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself. [x]
4. Been to a therapist. []
5. Snuck out of the house. []
6. Dyed your hair. []
7. Received a ticket. [ ]
8. Been in an accident. [ ]
9. Wished someone to die. [x]
10. Been to a bar. [x ]
TOTAL SO FAR: 16/30

1. Been to a wild party. [x]
2. Been to a Mardi Gras parade. [ ]
3. Drank more than four beers in a night. [ ]
4. Had a spring break in Florida. [ ]
5. Sniffed anything. [ ]
6. Wore black nail polish. [x]
7. Wore arm bands. []
8. Wore t-shirts with band names. [x]
9. Listened to rap. [x]
10. Owned a 50 Cent CD. [ ]
TOTAL SO FAR:20/40

1. Dressed Gothic. [x]
2. Dressed prep.[ ]
3. Dressed punk. [x]
4. Dressed grunge. [ ]
5. Stole something. []
6. Been too drunk to remember anything. [x ]
7. Blacked out (from drinking). [x ]
8. Fainted. [ ]
9. Had a crush on a neighbor. [ ]
TOTAL SO FAR: 24/49

1. Snuck into someone else's room. [x]
2. Had a crush on your friend. [ ]
3. Been to a concert. [x]
4. Dry-humped someone. [ ]
5. Been called a slut. [ ]
6. Called someone a slut. [x]
7. Installed speakers in your car.[ ]
8. Broken a mirror. [x ]
9. Showered at someone of the opposites sex's house. [x]
10. Brushed your teeth with someone else's toothbrush. [x]
TOTAL SO FAR:30/59

1. Consider/considered Ludacris your favorite rapper. [ ]
2. Seen an R-rated movie in theater. [x]
3. Cruised the mall. [ ]
4. Skipped school. [x]
5. Had surgery. [x]
6. Had an injury. []
7. Gone to court. []
8. Walked out of a restaurant without paying/tipping. [ ]
9. Caught something on fire (purposely). []
10. Lied about your age. []
TOTAL SO FAR: 33/69

1. Owned/rented an apartment. []
2. Broke the law in the police's presence. []
3. Made out with someone who had a gf/bf. [ ]
4. Got in trouble with the police. [ ]
5. Talked to a stranger. [x]
6. Hugged a stranger. [x]
7. Kissed a stranger (tongue). []
8. Rode in the car with a stranger. [ ]
9. Been harassed. [x]
10. Been verbally harassed. [x]
TOTAL SO FAR: 37/79

1. Met face-to-face with someone you met online. [x]
2. Stayed online for 5 hours straight. [x]
3. Talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight. [x]
4. Watched TV for 5 hours straight. []
5. Been to a fair. [x]
6. Been called a bad influence. [x]
7. Drink and drive. [ ]
8. Prank-called someone. []
9. Laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex. [x]
10. Cheated on a test. []
TOTAL SO FAR:43/89

-If You Have Less Then 10..write [I'm a Goody Goody.]
-If You Have More Than 10..write [I'm still a goody goody.]
-If You Have more Than 20..write [I'm average.]
-If You Have More Than 30..write [I'm a bad kid.]
-If You have more than 40..write [I'm a very bad kid.]
-If You Have more than 50..write [I'm a horrible person.]

I´m a very bad kid. XD
30.10.07 13:54


You scored as Death Rocker, You are a Death Rocker. You think beyond the 80s (cause you really like zombies, psychedelia, and B-movies) and are into the colorful, twisted side of the goth culture (which is portrayed in all your lovely horror-rock shows). Click on my name to take my other tests if you liked this one.

Death Rocker

58%

Old-school Goth

54%

Cyber-goth

50%

Industrial/Rivet-Head

50%

Fantasy Goth

46%

Anything-Goes Goth

46%

Perky Goff

46%

Ethereal Goth

38%

Romantic Goth

33%

Understanding Outsider

29%

Confused Outsider

25%

What subcategory of Goth best fits you?
created with QuizFarm.com
9.8.07 10:43


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